Somedays Endometriosis Wins: Accept It, and Care For Yourself

In 25 years, I've learned that most of us spend our time trying stumbling through life, clumsily in pursuit of a place where we are only expected to be who we are... a place where we are accepted for who we are while in pursuit of that best version of ourselves... I'm not sure we ever get to that best version, though... and maybe that's not the ultimate point.

Life isn't glamorous - it's often swampy and stale, drenched in disappointment. #Instagram lets us pretend that it's perfect... that it's clean and organized… a welcomed delusion.

Instagram is the small corner of life we manage to clean up long enough to snap a picture that then gets touched up for 20 minutes before sharing it with the world… because as much as we want to be accepted for what we are, we also want to pretend that we have this whole life-thing figured out

My life is a mess at least 50% of the time. I'm either too fat or too thin depending on the month and my workload. I'm a sardonic insomniac that despises the morning but also hates my bed because it's a haunting reminder that sleep evades me.

Days like today is the apotheosis of that mess... the difference between today and usually is that I'm sharing it with all of you. I'm the dope sleeping in a tub. I'm suffering through an ovarian cyst that is making me more miserable than I imagined was possible. It's not glamorous; it's excruciating. The only place I've slept is in this tub, and it's likely the place I'll be until further notice. Where is my happiness today? 

It's in the heat of this tub eating cookie dough while watching Golden Girls, and drinking Diet Coke kept cold in my #Yeti.